Pretending

I thought Olivia’s [Writing Center tutor] suggestion to elaborate on what a “confident creature” meant was genius. I implemented a few more lines and specificity to really hone in on the feeling of being a confident creature and what that would look like. I gave every bit its own line, which I think improved the clarity a ton. I wanted to use the word “creature” because it adds an element of mystery and discovery to this new version of myself. “Creature” speaks to the in-humanness I feel toward that distant part of myself; it is a protection from becoming too vulnerable and places an emphasis on the alien-ness of feeling confident.

If I pretend hard enough,
It almost feels like Portland.
Wet red brick and rain during June
Cramped buildings kissing each other mimicking their intimate residents
The best vegan street food that somehow stays dry despite the heavy rain working against it.

If I pretend hard enough,
I am sitting in an apartment in Chicago.
Two couches, a divider to make the space feel bigger.
Two fake rooms that are actually just one.
But it’s cozy,
It feels like home.

If I pretend hard enough,
I am a confident creature
Able to express my every impulse,
Wander the world as I please,
And effortlessly bring light to every space I inhabit.

I think if I pretend hard enough
For long enough
I might just turn into that creature.

Izzy King is finishing their Junior year at DePaul this spring, majoring as a BFA Actor at The Theatre School and minoring in Applied Psychology. She is new to writing poetry; this is her first time submitting work to a literary magazine! They love Shakespeare, coffee, and new plays.