The feedback I received on this piece was primarily regarding word choices, flow, grammar, and clarity from a reader’s perspective.
Category: Poetry
During my appointment, we chatted bout a draft of this poem that I had in a more raw and unrevised version. I knew I wanted more structure and intentionality to my use of space. I think the use of shape in my poems was the most impactful– I felt that it gave my piece a new life of sorts! It created a new overall feeling and readability to the work that i feel resonates with my message more!
The feedback I received for this piece helped me develop the tone that I had set earlier in the poem while still giving an ending that felt personally satisfying. I incorporated elements of the influences narrative structure both to add to the overall meaning of the piece but also to make the poem feel more lively.
My feedback gave me insight into how my language was interpreted, which allowed me to make unclear phrases more accessible. It also highlighted grammatical subversions that felt arbitrary and out of place. I think that, because my piece is poetry, the impression outweighs the explicit meaning.
I received feedback on the lyric and help on finishing the last verses of the poem, which help me to add a good end to the story.
The honestly was helpful and the questions about my intention. It was also nice to hear what was working. I corrected Franz Kafka’s name, considered lengthening a line, and rearranged and reduced the words in the second to the last stanza.
Each line is layered, inscribed with hidden meaning. Vibrant imagery details the divide between humans and nature.
Adding personal, vivid details deepened my story, helping me show emotion while staying mindful of the reader’s comfort.
Writers Guild allows me to get so many diverse perspectives, and even sometimes my own feedback thrown back at me.
I left space in the story for readers to step in; wove in hope, rhythm, and quiet constancy to guide the emotional arc.