Most of the feedback I received was aimed toward greater specificity, in wording and vocabulary. Lines like “we desire your love” turning instead into “we covet your conditional love”—covet having more biblical connotations, and the conditional aspect being important to the current situation of the narrator. Some of the feedback I received but did not agree with, was about the formatting and expanding the poem into more of a story. I thought separating the confessional text from the lines of the poem would create too much of a divide between the words I am trying to weave into conversation with each other. As for expanding the poem into more of a story, that felt too much like straying into prose.
