Categories
Issue 4 Poetry

screaming at the gas pump

I had a teacher once tell me “kill your darlings”—what she meant is that sometimes the parts of a piece I loved most needed to be cut altogether. The original title of this piece was “eyes like the weather” which has personal, sentimental value but as the piece grew, it didn’t hold the same weight. When the editors asked me to change the title, I thought about where the bulk of the inspiration from the piece came from, which was a conversation at a gas pump. After changing the title, I went through the different images and similes in the piece and recentered them around ~car~ things. I feel like it added theme, cohesion, and made the piece more clear.

we race to the car

our clothes soaked inside out

the water droplets on your skin whispered

“lick me”

a puddle rests in your collar bone i—

how did the bubble we so carefully sewed  

pink and blue threaded through

split down the middle 

crack open 

we were glass 

that i touched the wrong way

and we shattered into nine million shards

hot tears 

roll down my face

my heart wells up with smoke

like there’s a 

shadow 

trying to fill in the 

cracks 

you made

everything in the atmosphere clamps down 

your tongue in my mouth

spills 

red 

blue

not even the clouds could catch the petrol you poured down my throat

am 

standing 

in a giant car park 

with glass all around my feet 

Do you know how to put these 

pieces together? 

Where can we even start?

the inside of my bones 

peel

like the skin of an orange

shuddering inhales

hold my body together

a smooth breath 

and i would melt

like hot rubber on pavement 

I wish I had died sometimes

the first week i imagined getting hit by a cta bus everyday


Anne Shook (they, she) is an actor, director, poet, and recent graduate of DePaul University (BFA Acting and BA in Communications and Media). During their time in undergrad, they started self-publishing their work online. The Orange Couch is their first professional publication and they are stoked to be a part of Issue 4. Anne enjoys spending time on the beach and advocating for survivors of sexual violence and LGBTQ rights.