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Issue 5 Poetry

The Hedgehog’s Dilemma

I think the feedback that was helpful to me was “this line feels a bit clunky!” or something similar to “maybe try moving this word here?” I really appreciate the line to line breakdown, as it felt more constructive and nudged me in a direction rather than simply commenting on the “feel” or emotion of the piece! I loved getting to play with syntax and word choices thanks to the feedback!

When you kicked me out of the car
on our way to Scottsdale, 
I watched as you pressed upon the ignition. 
Peeling out in that crappy Honda, 
blasting Pearl Jam, 
but all I could focus on was the dust.

It was a cloud of burnt sienna, 
a sprinkling of confetti to 
celebrate the fact 
I’d never see you again. 
“Irreconcilable differences.” is what you’ll tell your friends. 
But I prefer: “He was an asshole.”

Throw salted peanuts in my mouth
at the old gas station down the road.
Tempted by scratchers, 
Sifting through bubblegum
I decide: 
I want to live here amongst 
the postcard turnstiles.

Hang me up and 
wedge me in between 
the beach and the canyon, please.
Aloha! 
Greetings from Hell! 
Thumb through all the places
I haven’t been.
I’m hoping your destination is the latter.

But I’m headed back home.
I pay ninety-nine cents—
buy one get one free! 
and carry cards of Fresno and Vegas
in my warm, tender hands.

Arizona is the perfect place 
for your cold, cactus heart.
Send me a postcard when you arrive.

I’d like to see the desert sun for myself.