last year this date haunted me
as it approached.
“it won’t be as bad
as what you are feeling.”
i barely believed it.
so how did
a blizzarding lakefront kiss
make me believe in
something this time?
and how come
a question on the eighth of this month,
regarding what i had planned in six nights,
conjured an endless smile?
maybe it’s poetically karmic.
or maybe just a coincidence.
all i know is what i’ve realized:
the infinity in the word “try.”
as i gave this a try,
and it countered my past plights:
every past life
i thought i had right.
a year ago i would have shut the blinds,
blanketed myself from night.
now i’m bathed in february air
and still warm inside.
from your hand on my thigh
in the backseat of this uber ride
to your silhouette aside
the heart painted in the skyline:
all of tonight
taunts my past tries
with one silently smirking “not quite.”
Evan Mueller is a rising junior at DePaul University studying both Economics and Political Science. He’s used writing to encapsulate, enliven, and preserve feelings and moments of his life since the seventh grade. Mainly focused on poetry, more of his work can be found at @toeternallydaydream on Instagram.