Ava O’Malley gave me feedback on my short story. She helped me revise for setting, placement, and wording. For example, she suggested that I add details on the setting and edit out redundancy. Based on her suggestions, I also reorganized some sections of the essay and added details to clarify some terms I use. While I tried my best to follow all of her suggestions, the suggestions on reorganization were the most difficult to follow because this essay follows the disjunctive essay format spearheaded by Michel de Montaigne. The nature of this type of essay is intended in its nature to be meandering, going back and forth, and for the writer to not really know what they are trying to say until the end.
