Category: Nonfiction

One person [at Writers Guild] said that the ending was a little “over-explainy.” I bore [this] in mind as I made my revisions, but I didn’t make any drastic changes because I feel like it works well. They said conveying the message of this piece through action could be more effective. So this time around, I focused on making the plot of this piece unique to one particular evening. Before, I had posed the situation I was in as generalizable to all the times my grandparents took us to Toby’s.

The feedback I received on this piece was based on the stylistic components. This helped a bunch as sometimes I just have too much to say and can’t slow down to figure out if it all fits together. Due to the feedback, I was able to cut down on some unnecessary adverbs that I used as well as some words that came off as redundant. In the end, it helped with my rhythm and clarity throughout the piece by removing clunky structure and confusing sentences. I was able to finally hear some parts that may be muddled because I can stay stuck in my own perspective.

My introduction I completely rewrote in order to more blatantly hint at the death of Bob. I also included more thorough descriptions of Lazlo and Bob in comparison.

I received feedback about the content and how to improve the direction of the story as well as give it more authenticity. I added three paragraphs to give the story more context and depth. I also changed the title of the piece.

Ava O’Malley gave me feedback on my short story. She helped me revise for setting, placement, and wording. For example, she suggested that I add details on the setting and edit out redundancy. Based on her suggestions, I also reorganized some sections of the essay and added details to clarify some terms I use. While I tried my best to follow all of her suggestions, the suggestions on reorganization were the most difficult to follow because this essay follows the disjunctive essay format spearheaded by Michel de Montaigne. The nature of this type of essay is intended in its nature to be meandering, going back and forth, and for the writer to not really know what they are trying to say until the end.

I received some lovely feedback from my peers on this piece. I was recommended to focus on the middle section of this piece, which was not nearly as developed as it is now! Hope you enjoy.

I wanted to keep this piece short, but I still felt like something was missing. Hearing other people’s feedback at the Writers Guild meeting helped me reflect on my writing and figure out what my next steps should be.

“Isabel provided feedback that helped me weave a simple metaphor at the start of my story into the rest of it. This was the first creative piece that I sent to the Writing Center, and I think I will start to send more creative work to the tutors.”

“In my own experience, I’ve had editors who trample on writers’ ideas and voices, but the advisors that I worked with at the Writing Center were more than respectful and encouraging.”

“The process of writing a cohesive piece means a lot of self control and understanding that stepping back from the words you grow attached to allows you to understand more what needs to be said. I have been very invested in self growth as a concept, but very hesitant to fully immerse myself in the process. These two pieces are documentation of that journey.”