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Issue 7 Poetry

My Grandfather Takes My Ailing Grandmother for a Walk Around the Lake

I really enjoy getting feedback that’s direct and targeted, while still being supportive. Bella Z. suggested I tweak a few of my word choices to soften the tone. Bella Z. also suggested I lean more on the dialogical aspects of the poem (indicated by italicized lines). There were a few spots where I decided that would be beneficial and give more voice to my grandpa.

Come, walk with me along our lake.
Many memories await us here, my love, if
only your mind would let you keep them.
Reach out your sunspotted hands to touch the cattails.
Here, I picked this one for you.
Feel the ridges, like fine sandpaper 
against your leathered palm.
Break it in half; watch as the fur explodes 
outwards and, lazy in the breeze, flows out 
over the water…

Stop here, on our bridge, for a moment.
Do you remember, I built this bridge for you? 
Rest your hands against the steady lumber.
Here, in the middle, I carved your name.

Look down, past our reflection in the water—yes,
those wrinkled faces are our own
and watch as the dragonflies
hatch. Some won’t make it,
as the glimmering koi below must eat. 
And look! Out on the lake, watch the 
cormorant dive deep, searching for
supper beneath the surface.

Breathe, smell our world around us.
Notice the waterlilies! and
inhale the pine that stands watch, 
the sharp scent from its sharp needles
invigorating each breath.
Even last year’s leaves, dropped from the 
acrid willow and now uncovered by spring, 
exhale the breath of new life.

Cherish this as I cherish you. Hold as
much of it with you as you can. Know
that you are part of it all, and it will
remember us as we drift away.