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Issue 7 Poetry

The Bar

The feedback I received on this piece was primarily regarding word choices, flow, grammar, and clarity from a reader’s perspective.

The wait feels so long this day,
For I sit in great dismay 
A drink or the fifth slows down the chatter
Slows down the world, drowning in liquid matter

A lady in soot-black sighs so deep
For she’s lost two of ten properties
She hangs her head to floor
Crying, she may just be a penny apart from the poor

An imbecile! With such filth besotted 
Is the one knowing zilch of all she’s allotted
Take me, the one truly worth the pity
All I’ve done for the promotions they never give me!

A stool away, I slide a bill down
To a man patting his pockets with a frown
Perhaps I’ll buy him a drink or two
Procure an ear for the night to share what I’m going through

I tell him my troubles, and he listens with care,
Claiming neither to him has life been so fair
I inquire what exactly he means 
To now hear him, he pleads of me:

“Here I am for the last time, 
For here I am on my last dime 
Your troubles do not seem so ill 
If I wished, I could not have spared you a bill”

I tell my new friend I understand
Heart to heart, man to man 
We turn our gazes just then 
To a youngster lying on a bench

Surely no fate can descend beyond that
My friend and I drink with our bottles now flat
Empty-eyed, a woman who’s just learned of her fate knows all this is fleeting
The bench man is far wealthier, for his heart will still keep beating