Author: Magnus Fraipont

I brought a first draft of this piece into Writers Guild the night after I wrote it, expecting it to need a lot of adjustment…and it did! Just not the type I had expected. My biggest issue to fix was filling in the information gaps on the page that I was filling in in my own head. There were a number of different things that my fellow Guild members wanted elaboration on, like the 13-month shuttle journey, Kali’s missing arm, and the social differences between Kali and Dawn. This led to a pretty sizable expansion of the piece, which was looked at by the wonderful Amber C. one more time before submitting, and now it’s in a place that I’m pretty proud of and that makes me excited to write even more about these two!

From both Writers Guild and my appointment with a peer tutor, I received overwhelmingly positive feedback on this piece, and it has remained relatively untouched from its first draft. Initially, I wrote this piece in the middle of one of my lectures and wanted to experiment with a total stream of consciousness style. Catching the spelling errors was the most helpful, as well as the general support and positive feedback for this piece.